


Cunning And Ambition Shorts

by MinaAndChao



Series: Cunning and Ambition [7]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Don't take that too seriously, Here there be crack, Humor, M/M, Multi, Slytherin Harry, an attempt was made
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-07
Updated: 2014-06-07
Packaged: 2018-02-03 19:12:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1754925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinaAndChao/pseuds/MinaAndChao
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various shorts, some canon and some not, having to do with the CAA verse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cunning And Ambition Shorts

**Author's Note:**

> These were usually done outside of normal publishing, like birthday fics. One was a present for Cal, and another was Mina's Christmas gift for myself. They should be taken with a grain of salt. This first one was Cal's present, and is definitely non-canon. Mostly we just wanted to laugh over Severus in the 70s. Feel free to conveniently forget about the reality of Severus in 6th year. We happily ignored it.

Harry poured the ladle-full of potion into the glass bottle, grinning like an idiot down at the jade-green colour of it.  He’d experimented before, but that was normally just editing previously existing recipes.  This was the first time he’d tried something completely of his own creation, and thus far it had worked precisely as he’d predicted.

 

To be fair, he had help with Severus, if only in bits in pieces.  He’d not told him exactly what the potion was for, and had just cackled when asked (a habit he’d stolen directly from Pansy), but he had asked about certain interactions at different temperatures, or asked for his experience in switching one ingredient for another.

 

Using a tiny glass spoon, Harry collected a small sample of his potion, carefully assigning one drop to each of the solutions he had laid out. They all stayed clear.  With a sigh of relief, he put the caps back on them and put them back on the shelves.  He hadn’t managed to create a poison, then - at least, not one that could be detected by the broad range detectors.  He decided to go the optimistic route and assume that meant it was probably safe for swallowing.

 

Harry stared at the little jar, grin softening into a smile.  If this worked, not only would there be some great general uses for it, but it would also be nice for several people he knew.  Specifically, he thought Severus could get some good mileage out of it.

 

As though thinking about him had been a cue, Severus knocked softly on the lab door before entering.  “You’ve finished, then?”

 

“Yeah!”  Harry spun on the stool and beamed at him, gesturing at the potion with a flourish.

 

Making his way over, Severus sat next to Harry, gazing down curiously at the little bottle.  “So do you plan on telling me what exactly it is you’re doing?  I admit, the Jobberknoll feathers had me curious.”

 

Nose scrunching as he made a face, Harry send him a dry look.  “Probably shouldn’t have asked you about those.  What do you think I’m making?”

 

A dry look was sen his way.  “I’m sure I haven’t the slightest idea, since you have been so secretive.”

 

Glaring, Harry rolled his eyes.  “Yes, yes, you are the cunning spy and I am just a measly mortal.  Now will you answer?”

 

Severus got that glaze to his eyes that Harry associated with his lectures.  “The feathers suggest it has something to do with memory.  According to the Headmaster, you recently sourced a large quantity of phoenix ash, and since I certainly hope you’re not attempting any outdated equinox rituals, I shall assume that went in as well, which makes me predict it has something to do with renewal.”  He paused, fingers idly drumming on the counter top.  “From that, I would think it would be about regaining lost memories, but I cannot imagine anything about that goal would make you so excited.”

 

With a snort, Harry gave him a smug look.  “You’re missing a very important ingredient.  That one, in fact.”  He pointed to a half-empty bottle filled with a clear, and slightly slimy looking liquid.  Severus grabbed the container and swirled it before taking a careful whiff from the open top. 

 

“This is not a typical potions ingredient.”

 

Idly, Harry rubbed his thumb over the smooth glass of his little bottle.  “You’d recognize it in a different container.  Perhaps in a basin, with a bit of smoke coming out.  If it helps, you can imagine it in the little cabinet in Albus’ office.”

 

That earned him a rare surprised blink, and Harry mentally patted himself on the back.  “This is pensive oil?”

 

Nodding, Harry propped his chin on his hand.  “Correct.  This potion is not designed to recreate a forgotten memory, but relive an old one.  It’s basically a liquid, one-time version of the locket Draco gave me back in First Year.  I figure it can either be used for covert information sharing, or just for nice memories.  Theoretically, it should make the patient re-live the memory, instead of view it out of body, like a typical pensive.

 

“Fascinating.”  Now Severus was staring at the little bottle with more interest.  “I’m surprised pensive oil is safe for human consumption.”

 

“So long as it’s in small doses.”  He got a startled look.  “Not like that!  You’d have to drink buckets worth of the stuff to get ill.  Honestly, your stomach would explode before you consumed enough.  I did think about that little detail, thanks.”

 

Severus nodded slowly.  “Alright.  And how were you planning on testing this?”

 

Blinking slowly, Harry tilted his head.  “The normal way?  By testing for poisons - check and clear - and then taking it.”

 

Dark eyes snapped to him, but Harry anticipated the look.  “I was going to do it with you there, and if anything happens Madam Pomfrey is a Floo call away.”  The gaze didn’t waver.  “Fine, fine, would you be happier if someone else did it?”

 

“Immensely.”  Severus returned sharply.  “In fact, I would be a decent candidate, given that I can accurately asses the effectiveness of it.

 

Giving a huff, Harry gestured at the.  “Have fun then.  At least pick a nice memory, would you?  That was kind of the point of it, anyway.”

 

Severus sent him a strange look, but tilted his head.  “As you wish.  I believe a calm weekend in 6th year would be an appropriate choice.  Do you agree?”  Harry gave a curt nod, and the professor rolled his eyes at his pouting.

 

With that he snatched the bottle at the same time he put his wand to his temple, dunking the silver strand into the potion.  The potion went a pale green with a shine almost like a pearl - which it was mostly certainly not supposed to do.  Before Harry could make a noise of protest, Severus had already swallowed it.

Then the man went limp, falling backward off the stool in such a way that his robes flared out and covered him.  For the space of one heartbeat, Harry stared down at the black-clad lump in horror, before falling to his knees beside it.  “Severus?  Oh, Merlin, I hope I didn’t kill you.  Severus!”  He yanked off the robe.

Severus was not underneath.  At least, not the correct Severus.  Instead, an unconscious teenager was sprawled out on the floor.

“Oh, shit!”

 

Harry watched as Severus-who-was-now-much-younger-Severus slowly opened his eyes at sat up.  Now his hair was longer, just barely touching his shoulders, and shaggy cut.  He ran a hand through his hair and stared up at Harry.

 

“The fuck are you?”

 

Harry stared down in shock.  “Excuse me!?”

 

“I said ‘who. the fuck. are you?’”

 

“I’m…  Harry.”

 

Severus’ mouth curled as he looked up at Harry.  “You look like James Potter, you’re not related to him are you?”

 

Harry stared down at Snape and then pinched his mouth shut.  “No.  I… Who is that?”  He offered the other… erm… teenager his hand. 

 

“I suppose you’re right.  A Potter’d never be caught dead in Slytherin robes.”  He paused and looked down at himself and his lanky limbs encased in his elder self’s robes.  “What the hell am I wearing?”

 

“Erm… Well, to be honest with you I think you may have been testing a potion.  I think we should get you to Hospital.”

 

“Oh, are you gonna come with?”

 

“I think I should, just in case.”

 

“Far out, a’right.  You go.  Imma come with.”

 

Harry stared a moment, trying to decipher what kind of language that was before nodding slowly.  “Okay, right then…”  With that he clamped a hand on Severus’ shoulder ignoring the cry of ‘this is anti-coolie’ before he dragged the other teen from the classroom.

 

They managed to make it to the Hospital not only in record time, but thankfully without running into anyone aside from one very confused looking Ravenclaw second year.  Severus shook Harry off the second they walked through the door and glared at him before raking his fingers through his hair and adjusting the hems and collar of his robes as he  _sauntered_  across the floor and threw himself into a chair by a bed.  Harry grit his teeth and rubbed his hand over his temples before stomping into Madame Pomfrey’s office.

 

“We have a problem.”

 

The Medi-Witch didn’t even lift her eyes from her book.  “If you’re here, Mr. Potter, I sense it is a disaster.”

 

“Of a sort.”

 

She exhaled deeply and marked her book before standing.  “What is it that brings you to my humble wing today?”

 

Harry pointed.  “That.  Is Professor Snape.”

 

She looked across the span of the room to the boy who was now rocking back on his chair legs with a bored expression and made a noise in her throat.  “What happened?”

 

“I was devising a new potion and…”

 

“He tested it didn’t he?  Idiot.”  She shook her head and walked into a separate part of her office and pulled down a set of fresh Slytherin robes that looked to be about his size.  “I’m going to need a full ingredient list.”

 

Harry nodded.  “Of course.”

 

She stared at him blankly for a moment.   “Now.”

 

Harry blinked.  “Oh, right, of course!”  And moved off to the door.  He resisted the urge to scream with frustration as he heard ‘hey, if it isn’t old lady Pomfrey’ and then a very stern.  ‘Sit down, Mister Snape!’

 

He was completely fucked.

 

~*~

 

“You did what.” 

 

Harry looked up from the meticulous notes he was scratching into his parchment at Pansy’s outburst. 

 

“I was working on a new potion and Professor Snape tested it and reverted back to his sixteen year old self with no memory of anything.”

 

“Peachy.”  Draco drawled, propping his feet up on Harry’s desk and ignoring the scowl.  “I mean all we have to do is hide the fact you’re his most hated enemy’s son.  Said enemy who took his only friend and then made you and who is now dead.  And then we have to avoid the whole Voldemort thing along with carefully glazing over the fact that it’s eighteen years in the future.”

 

“Thank you, love.”  Harry looked up momentarily before looking back down at his notes.  “That was a very helpful insight.”

 

Draco scoffed and kicked at Harry’s leg lightly.  “That’s enough of that, Professor Potter.”

 

Harry laid down his quill for a moment and looked up at Draco and glared.  Draco went oddly still and Harry softened, confused.   Draco tilted his head with a grin. 

 

“You’re really starting to act like him, y’know.  It’s getting uncanny.  Don’t worry, I’ll smack sense into you if you start wearing shirts with high necks and wearing your hair long.”

 

“Draco, I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear a single word you just said.”

 

“See.  There he goes again.”

 

Pansy chortled playfully before bumping her hip against Harry’s and laying her head on his shoulder.  “I’ll still love you just the same.” 

 

Harry looked up at her with a wry grin before pressing a chaste kiss against her mouth and stepped back.  “Are you coming with me to deliver this?”

 

“And miss out on the chance to see Professor Snape the way we’ll never see him again? I think not.”  Draco stood and watched as Pansy gleefully clasped her hands together, her mind working toward blackmail, no doubt.

 

They trooped together down the halls, chatting amicably.  They paused on the stairs as they shifted and Harry paused at the sight of Blaise on the platform they were all headed toward.  The boy smiled cheerily and wrapped his arms around Pansy, kissing her cheek. 

 

“Where are you three headed?”

 

“Hospital.”  Harry informed grudgingly. 

 

Blaise’s smile dropped in concern.  “What happened?”

 

“Professor Snape took a potion that Harry was working on and he turned back into a teenager.”

 

Harry sighed in exasperation.  “Wonderful, Pansy.  Just tell everyone.”

 

She blinked owlishly at him before smirking and shrugging.  Blaise’s brows furrowed.  “Is he alright, though?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

With Blaise joining them they made their way into the Hospital and Draco stopped short, barely catching a snort in a cough at the sight of Snape in Slytherin robes with his hair in a ponytail.  Madame Pomfrey exited her office before jerking her head toward it and the four of them piled in, she took the list from Harry and scanned it with a frown. 

 

“Pensieve oil?  What on earth possessed you — Oh, no matter right now.  I’ve done a through check on him.  He’s perfectly fit.  Headmaster Dumbledore has already made arrangements to your dormitory and he’s informed everyone in your house and is alerting the teachers as we speak.  He and Professor Slughorn are going to aid me in devising a remedy.  It’s best you be honest and blunt with him about the year and who you are.  He may be angry but considering the circumstances it’s better than shielding him and making things worse.”

 

Harry nodded, feeling achy and tired as he looked out the observation window toward his new classmate and former Professor.  “Alright.  Lunch starts soon, I figure he’s hungry.  We’ll sit him down after that.”

 

“Oh, and Mr. Potter?”

 

Harry turned to look at her, she was already making a list as she sat.  “Yes?”

 

“Do try and keep him from smoking this time around.”

 

Harry opened his mouth before letting out another exasperated sigh and exited the office and made his way toward the boy who had apparently found some Drooble’s gum and was cracking off bright blue bubbles to float off toward the ceiling.  Harry felt his left eye twitch.

 

This was gonna be hell.

 

There was a long pause, before Draco gave Harry a gentle push forward.  “You go deal with that.  We can wait outside.”  Behind him, Pansy and Blaise murmured their agreements, and all three beat a hasty retreat before he could say a word.

 

  1.   Looks like he’d be doing this alone, then.  Steeling himself, Harry made his way over to the boy that would someday be Professor Snape.



 

“The future isn’t as cool as I thought it would be.”  Was the greeting Harry got when he sat down next to Severus.  “I mean, I know it’s Hogwarts, but I was promised hover-boards and flying cars and shit.  Way to fail us, Science.”

 

Quirking an eyebrow at him, Harry’s lips twitched.  “I think magic has made those work, actually.”

 

Severus sat up.  “Seriously?  Rad.”

 

“Yeah, but not for sale or anything.  The Weasleys have a flying car, apparently, but that’s just because their Dad made it…”  He trailed off, realizing he was babbling.  “So, what did Albus tell you?”

 

The dark gaze grew a bit intense.  “You’re on first name terms with the Headmaster?”  Harry just shrugged, and Severus huffed.  “He said that it’s 1996, and that I was de-aged after being exposed to an experimental potion.”  He gazed around the room, eyes far away and serious.  “Never thought I’d end up working here, of all places.”  After a moment he seemed to shake himself out of it.  “He also said that if I had any questions I should ask you.  As it happens, I do have one.  Who exactly are you?”

 

Shifting uncomfortably, Harry shrugged.  “I’m… one of your - er, older you’s, I guess - students.  I’ve been taking side lessons with… oh, hell, I’ll just go with Professor Snape, since First Year, and so we’ve gotten pretty close.”  He paused a second, gathering up that supposed Gryffindor-esque courage he was supposed to have.  “My name is Harry Potter.” He held up a hand when Severus’ brows drew together sharply.   “Yeah, I know, I lied, but I didn’t know how long this would last and I didn’t want to have to explain myself and delaying getting you to the Hospital Wing and would you stop making that face?”  The sudden switch in tone made Severus snap out of the scowl that had been forming.  “Look, I know you hated - er, hate - my dad, but he died when I was a year old and I would really prefer not to have to do this dance again, if you don’t mind.”

 

Severus’ eyes went wide.  “Potter’s dead?”

 

Dropping his gaze, Harry shrugged.  “Yeah.  He was killed, okay?  Can we…?  Look, if it would help, could you just think of me as ‘Harry’, rather than ‘Potter’?  From what Pomfrey said, we’re going to be dorming together, and I would prefer not to spend it fighting the younger version of the man I think of as my mentor.”

 

There was a long pause, before Severus finally spoke.  “You’re nothing like him.”  Harry just gave another shrug in response, not sure how to feel about that.  On one hand, it was useful for keeping the peace in the future.  On the other, it sucked that not being like him was a compliment to Severus.  “Right, that’s settled then.  Now start talkin’.”

 

“What?”

 

The boy rolled his eyes.  “C’mon, tell me all about everyone, so I’ll be caught up.  You know how it is in Slytherin.  Hell, in all of Hogwarts.”

 

Harry shook his head.  “I’m no good for that - lemme get Pansy and the rest.  She can fill you in.  In depth.”

 

“Who now?”

 

Shifting back in his chair, Harry held up three fingers.  “Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy.”

 

Amused eyebrows shot up.  “Malfoy?  As in the son of Lucius Malfoy?”

 

“Yup.”  Harry responded.  “And Narcissa Black.”

 

He was sent a suspicious look.  “Don’t yank my chain.”  Harry gave a helpless shrug.  “Seriously?  Unreal!  Lucius actually stopped partying and boozing long enough to have a family?  …Dude, you okay?  Breathe!”  Harry flailed a bit and squirmed as Severus tried to be helpful and pound him on the back.

 

Finally twisting away, Harry managed to choke out, “Stop!  I’m okay, but stop hitting me!”  He took a few deep breaths to catch his breath.  “I was not expecting that.  Maybe don’t mention that to Draco.”

 

Severus looked highly amused.  “I’ll save it for a decent occasion, anyway.”  Harry rolled his eyes but accepted that with a nod.  Once he’d stopped wheezing, Severus waved an imperious hand towards the door.  “Alright, if you’re finished nearly dying, go get them.”

 

In the end, Harry had to practically push Pansy over to the table, and Severus was the opposite of helpful, now that he’d gotten used to the idea that everyone thought of him of a professor.  He kept trying to sound authoritative to throw whoever was talking, but his ‘professor voice’ sounded more like Slughorn than anything.

 

This was going to be a strange, strange few days.  Or longer.

 

~*~

 

“This is so strange,”  Blaise muttered as he stretched out on a bench in the crisp spring air.  Severus and Hermione were talking Arithmancy.  Harry was torn between screaming and laughing.

 

“At least he was always studious.  I was concerned we’d have to leash him or something…”  Harry scrubbed his hands over his face and forced out a sigh.  “And he still has to work on the modern slang.  If I hear him say ‘groovy’ one more time I may set fire to something.”

 

Draco chuckled as he pillowed his head on Harry’s lap, Harry’s hand automatically fell to pet the blonde’s hair.  He wasn’t sure how they were going to deal with some of the more Darker leaning people in Slytherin about the sudden fact and lack of knowledge and power Severus Snape had, but he was sure they would work with it.  Or lie.  Lying was always a good option.

 

“Hermione says she has an excellent book on Arthimancy so I’m going to go with her to the library, okay?  Cool!  Bye!”

 

Before Harry could even bump Draco from his lap and respond, Severus had already grabbed Hermione’s hand and yanked her past a furious looking Ron into the castle.  He sighed heavily before nudging Draco up and pulling up his messenger bag and following after the two of them, muttering the whole while.  Maybe he’d be lucky and this whole experience would put him off parenting forever.

 

He slipped into the library and found the two of them hunched over books in Hermione’s usual spot.  Severus was leaned against Hermione’s side as she waited for him to nod every so often and would turn the page.  He stopped momentarily and looked at the sight of the two of them, if he didn’t know the truth about Severus and who he was, it could have easily been any other couple studying together in the library.  But he knew who the raven haired boy was and he wasn’t quite sure how the knowledge made him feel.

 

As he approached the table, Hermione looked toward him, smiling.  “Hello, Harry.”

 

Severus looked up as well, his face oddly open in a way that his usual adult self would guard.  “Did you know that Hermione is Muggle-born?” 

 

Harry nodded his head.  “I did.”

 

“I know a brilliant, beautiful Muggle-born witch, myself, you know.”  Hermione sputtered at being called beautiful and turned a splotchy pink colour.  Severus turned a glare on her, familiar, but with none of the usual heat behind it.  “She’s my best friend, too.  Or… Was… Maybe…”

 

Harry opened his mouth and managed a quick.  “That’s nice, Sever-”  Before Hermione turned her curious eyes toward Snape and asked “What’s her name?”

 

“Lily.  Lily Evans.  She has these green eyes like _bam_ , you know?  They’re kind of like Harry’s except hers were more blue in the middle and had a mottled green at the edge like coke bottle glass.  They’re wide and honest and warm.  Like pretty much the rest of her.  She’s kind of like you, brilliantly smart and humble and an extraordinary witch.  She’s in your house, too.”

 

Harry’s heart gave a painful twist and he pushed the feeling away and wondered how it must have felt  to be talking about Lily.  About the one person he loved more than anything who he had lost in such a horrible way.  He wondered if Severus, this Severus, was still holding out hope of reconnection and regaining her friendship.  The thought was a punch to the stomach.  Hermione was looking at him with a masked, odd expression and he forced on a smile. 

 

“I’ll let you two study.  See you at dinner.”

 

He beat a hasty retreat into the dungeons where he threw himself into his latest Defence essay while staring at the new, neatly arranged bed in the corner of the room.

 

~*~

 

When he woke up the next morning, for one glorious moment he thought it was all a dream.  He hadn’t managed to de-age Severus, who wasn’t speaking in extremely dated slang, and was not sleeping two beds over.  That would be _ridiculous_.

 

But when he managed to hear the sound of a vaguely familiar Muggle song over the running water, his one glorious little moment of hope was crushed.

 

Groaning, Harry sat up.  He glanced over at Draco, who was in his customary defensive ball,prepared to defend against any and all attempts to wake him properly.  Blaise was buttoning up his robe, and smirked at him, eyes darting towards the door to the bath.  “Congratulations.  I’ve been friends with you for six years, and this is still the most surreal thing I’ve experienced.”

 

“Bite me.”  Harry snapped, and Blaise chuckled and threw a pillow at his head.  Before Harry could return fire, the bath door burst open, and Severus made his way out, still humming that song.

 

He was also in nothing but a towel.

 

With his hair freshly washed, and body overall much healthier, having subtracted over a decade of war, Harry came to the conclusion that Severus was… actually kind of _hot_.

 

Face going warm, Harry flopped back onto the bed and covered his face with his pillow, resisting the urge to groan.  He heard Severus’ feet turn, and didn’t need his sight  to know one eyebrow was climbing up his brow.  “What’re you, some kind of prude?”

 

There didn’t seem to be any way to say that no, he was just finding his father figure hot, no big deal, so Harry settled for keeping his mouth shut.  From across the room, he heard Blaise chuckle.  “Something like that.”  The boy drawled, sounding terribly amused, and Harry threw his other pillow at him.  Judging by the umph that resulted, he’d missed and managed to hit Draco instead.

 

Severus gave a chuckle that sounded rather dangerous.  “You’re above that, huh?”  There was the sound of movement and then… did Blaise just _squeak_?  Harry sat up in time to see the would-be-professor saunter away from Blaise, who had gone slightly pale, and had one hand clapped protectively over his arse.

 

He hadn’t…

 

He _had_!

 

Without a word, Blaise set off down the stairs.  Once he was out of sight, Severus burst out laughing as he finally changed into his clothes.  The humming transformed into soft singing - he wasn’t a bird or anything, but it wasn’t terribly shrieking like Pansy’s.  “ _I can’t get no sat-is-fac-tion.  I can’t get no girl-ly action._ ”

 

When he turned to make his own way down, Harry caught his eye, and motioned for him to get closer.  Looking amused, Severus complied.  “It’s funny when you do it to Blaise - Pansy probably won’t mind.  But if you _eve_ r do that to Draco, you lose that hand.  Got it?”

 

At first, Severus looked like he was taking that as a challenge, but then he met Harry’s gaze and froze.  “Got it.”  He finally said, smile slipping slightly, before he gave a nod and disappeared.

 

“My hero.”  Draco yawned from his bed. 

 

Giving a slight start, Harry blinked at him.  “I hadn’t realized you were awake.”  After a quick pause, he smirked.  “Do I get a reward for my heroism?”

 

His answer was a matching expression.  “I’m sure I can find something you might appreciate, if you come over here.”

 

“Yes, sir!”  Harry snapped off a salute before sliding into Draco’s bed with a grin.

 

~*~

 

Harry made his way up to breakfast in a good mood.  He hummed quietly as he headed up the steps, hands in his pockets.  He paused outside the door to the Great Hall when he saw Severus’ silhouette in the door leading out of the castle toward the front courtyard and strode toward it.  He stopped in the door frame, watching the other boy, who was casually smoking as he leaned against the ancient stone and shifted his long, sinewy body with a sort of strange grace.  His uniform was rumpled, the tie unkempt and askew, the top three buttons of his shirt undone and his robe missing. 

 

Unable to help himself Harry took a few steps forward and buttoned Severus’ shirt to the collar and adjusted his tie tightly.  “You look a mess, how are you going to make a decent impression looking like you’ve seen the wrong end of a rubbish bin?”

 

“You sound like Headmaster Dumbledore now.  You seem so cool, what turned you into such a stuffed shirt?”

 

Harry opened his mouth to reply before closing it with a flush and a faint smile.  Severus’ brow arched and Harry looked at him before taking his cigarette and stomping it out.  “You did.  You taught me to have pride in my appearance and that looking respectable meant you would be treated with respect.  Also, you can’t smoke, Poppy said it’d have malicious effects with the potions.”

 

“God, when did I turn into such a _square_?”  He frowned before looking at Harry and rose both brows.  “Are you on first name basis with all the Professors?”

 

Harry opened his mouth before giving a nonchalant shrug.  “Some.”

 

“Why?”

 

Harry’s mouth screwed up before he shook his head.  “It’s complicated and involves a bunch of really convoluted events that I can’t talk about, okay?”

 

The other Slytherin eyed him for a long moment before nodding slowly.  “Okay.”

 

“Now come on, I want to get to breakfast before Nott and Crabbe eat all the food.”

 

Severus snorted before following Harry into the Great Hall and down the rows of tables toward the Slytherin one.  Draco was sitting next to Pansy smiling smugly, uncaring about a rather nasty looking love bite that was visible just over the top of his collar.  Across from him was Millicent, who was reading the _Daily Prophet_  which she folded up and tucked aside the moment she saw Severus coming.  She pushed to the side in her seat, elbowing Blaise repeatedly until he shifted so Harry and Severus could sit down. 

 

Harry dropped next to her while Severus sat between he and Blaise.  Harry looked at Millicent questioningly and she shook her head with a faint look of relief.  Harry hid his exhalation of joy at the fact none of their families had been found or convicted of anything or turned up dead.  He pulled a plate over and loaded it with scrambled eggs, hot cakes and sausage. He looked to Severus who was frowning down at his schedule. 

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

“I have Divination.  I asked for Ancient Runes.”

 

Draco snorted.  “Be glad, Ancient Runes is full up.  Some students sit on the floor or bring something to transfigure.”

 

Harry took a few bites of his sausage and his pancakes.  “S’alright, Millicent, Blaise and I are in Divination.”

 

“Really?”  Severus looked up at Harry before looking at Blaise, who practically knocked Pansy over in a rush to kiss her, sending her orange juice topping onto some poor second year.  Severus rolled his eyes in a manner that reminded Harry of Draco before looking at Millicent when Harry pointed at her.  “You’re a Bulstrode, aren’t you?  Yeah, I knew - know? - knew -  your dad.”

 

Millicent took a bite of her toast and peered over at Severus coolly.  “As long as you don’t annoy me, I won’t break your nose.”

 

Harry grinned at looked to Severus.  “That means she likes you.”

 

~*~

 

It came as no surprise that Severus’ dry sense of humor fit right into their little group of mocking.  Much like his older self, he had a way of repeating back what she said to make it sound as ridiculous as possible.  However, he was also able to do it in a way that made him seem curious rather than mocking, leaving her sputtering on a couple of occasions.  To be fair, it may have been that she wasn’t sure how to deal with a colleague as a student.

 

As they made their way out, Trelawney called after them, “I predict that you will face great trials in your efforts back to your normal self, Severus.”

 

The group ignored her and carried on.  “Crazy old bat.”  Blaise muttered on the way down.

 

“At least we know everything should go swimmingly.”  Harry shrugged, giving a grin with far too much teeth.

 

Millicent pushed her way to the front so she was walking backwards.  “Never mind that shit.  Can Severus still access his rooms?”

 

Tilting his head to the side, Severus frowned.  “Probably.  I mean, why would they ban me from them?  They’re _my_ rooms.”

 

Brown eyes narrowed in thought, and Blaise drummed his fingers against his bag.  “Why are you in our dorms then?  You could have privacy and probably a much nicer bed.”

 

“Albus said that it was in case there were side effects from the potion.  He didn’t want him to be alone in his rooms, where no one would know until it might be too late.”  Harry answered quietly, eyes fixated down the hallway.

 

There was a slap to his back, and Harry jumped slightly.  “Oh, please don’t do the Gryffindor guilt thing.  It’ll be insufferable to live with you.”  Severus gave him a hard look that Harry was far more familiar with on his fully grown face, and nodded in an almost Pavlovian response.  He got another pat on the back, this time reassuring, before he turned to Millicent.  “I assume you had a point?”

 

He got a bland look for the tone, but Millicent nodded.  “Yeah, I figure older you has to have some interesting shit in there.  And it is _your_  stuff, so why not put it to good use?”

 

Severus sent her a bland look.  “You want to raid my liquor cabinets?”  Millicent and Blaise both nodded bluntly.  “Yeah, alright.  Let’s see what I’ve got.”

 

It took about ten minutes to get to his rooms, and Millicent, Blaise and Severus all immediately began snooping around.  Harry hung back, feeling uncomfortable.  “Square.”  Severus accused over his shoulder as he made his way towards Sev- er, his records.

 

“You need to stop saying that.  It is 1996.  Just hearing the word is embarrassing.”  Harry shot back, crossing his arms.  Severus just snorted and started riffling through the music.

 

After a few seconds, he made a disgusted noise. “What the shit is this?  It’s all classical bullshit.  Did getting old turn me lame?”  Before anyone could respond, he gave a noise of triumph.  “That’s more like it!  Rolling Stones, baby!”

 

He made to put it on the player, but Millicent cleared her throat.  “Hello?  We had a point to this?”

 

“Right.”  Sounding slightly sulky, Severus put the record away and slipped into the kitchen.  “Let’s see where I left the booze.”  He opened the first cabinet he came across and blinked.  It was filled with boxes of Chai tea.  “What?”  There was silence as Millicent and Blaise stared over Severus’ shoulders, and Harry covered his face with his hands.  “No, really, what?  I don’t even like Chai tea that much…”

 

Finally, they turned to look at Harry, who was slowly shaking his head.  “Let’s just move on, okay?”  He managed.

 

“How is Chai tea embarrassing?”  Millicent asked, expression bland.  Harry shook his head.  “Fine, fine.  I don’t think there’s anything in here.  Let’s try the bedroom.”  She paused.  “You can check that one out.  There is nothing in there that the pain of knowing doesn’t outweigh any blackmail material.” 

 

Ignoring the small choked noise Harry made, Severus nodded.  “Yeah, just a second then.”  He slipped into the bedroom, and immediately did a swan dive onto it.  “Fuck yes!  Feather mattress - these are primo!”

 

Turning to Blaise, Harry looked him in the eyes, expression serious.  “Since Ancient Ruins doesn’t get out for half an hour, will you be my surrogate Pansy?”

 

After a second and a highly amused look, Blaise nodded.  “Sure, go ahead.”

 

“Thanks.”  With that, Harry clung to him, and began hitting his head on his shoulder.  “I’m never going to be able to look him in the eyes after this.”

 

“At least he didn’t goose your arse.”

 

“ _Yet_.”

 

Severus emerged from the room, carrying several bottles of Firewhisky.  “Found it.  This is good shit, too.  So, what were you thinking?”

 

The grin Millicent made was one of the scariest things Harry had ever seen.  “Anybody up for a game?”

 

“I’m not.”

 

“Shut up, Potter, you’re playing.”

 

Harry resumed banging his head on Blaise’s shoulder.

 

~*~

 

Just over an hour later they were all sitting in the Room of Requirement, mostly filled with their friends from other houses.  Hermione, Ron, Neville, Ginny, Dean, Seamus, Luna, Pansy, Draco, and Hannah Abott had joined them and they had all convened in an abandoned classroom Harry thought may have once been Lockhart’s.  They had formed a circle and had at first taken to simple Truth or Dare, which had lead to several embarrassing answers including a very, very descriptive crush of Severus’ crush on Ringo Starr which Harry did not need to know about _thank you very much_.  He also didn’t need to know that during a break with Pansy, Blaise had very briefly dated a Ravenclaw boy, but he did.  Just like he now and forever more had the mental image of Pansy giving Seamus a lap dance forever burned into the back of his brain.

 

But that game had given away into Spin the Bottle, and now Harry was watching the bottle he had taken hold of spin in the middle of the circle while leaning heavily against Draco.  He watched as the bottle slowed down, passing Ron.  Then Hermione.  Then thankfully Severus.  Then Blaise.  And settled on Millicent.  He rose his eyes from the bottle and sent a weak, drunken smile toward the girl before tipping himself forward and crawling toward her.  He pulled himself upright and tilted his head, leaning in for a gentle kiss. 

 

“Fuck that, Potter, I’m going to rock your world.”

 

“Wha—”

 

Millicent snatched hold of Harry’s robes and dragged him in for a kiss.  Before he even realized what was really happening a hand had curled in the back of his hair, one kept firmly in place on his shoulder and Millicent’s mouth was covering his own.  And holy sweet hell, where had Millicent learned to kiss like that?  She dominated with a scrape of teeth over his lower lip and pushed her tongue into his mouth without pause.  She shoved at his shoulder with her hand and he easily collapsed back, bracing himself with one feeble arm while the other clung to the back of her neck with desperation as he battled back in the kiss.  After a long few moments when his lungs were burning for air, Harry sucked in the breath and smiled at Millicent lazily, she nodded curtly at him and he giggled.  Actually giggled.  She dropped him to the ground and he laid on it for a long moment.

 

“Yeah!  I finally snogged a girl!”  He pumped up a fist in victory before rolling himself onto his stomach and dragging himself toward Draco before unceremoniously climbing into his lap and pressing his weight against Draco’s frame.  “Hi.  I just kissed Millicent.”

 

“I think more correctly she kissed you.”  Draco watched as Harry’s glazed eyes deepened in thought slightly before he nodded in agreement and grinned.  Draco shook his head.  “You are so drunk right now.”

 

“‘M not drunk.  Kiss me…”

 

Draco snorted as he pushed Harry off of him in a heap and watched Harry pout but sit back in his spot.  Harry turned to Seamus, who was watching the bottle spin and rested his chin on Seamus’ shoulder.  Seamus turned to look at Harry before petting the top of his head in a  kittenish manner and resigned himself to be snuggled. 

 

Millicent’s spin landed on Pansy.  Pansy let out a rollicking shriek and threw her arms up in the air, dumping half of her glass of Firewhiskey on the floor before she leaned toward Millicent.  Millicent leaned forward and their lips met in a chaste, quick kiss before they both sat back with satisfied looks.  Pansy gripped hold of the bottle and spun it eagerly, bouncing in her seat and clapping.  It landed on Dean Thomas.

 

Their kiss was less intense but less casual than the previous two.  Instead settled on a happy medium of open mouthed but tongue free and hands in the hair.  Pansy giggled when she pulled back and sucked her lower lip into her mouth.  “You taste like spearmint.”

 

Dean nodded his head with a soft “cheers” before spinning.  A round of cheers and applause went up as the bottle rapidly spun.  Round and round it went and people stared at it before looking around the circle.  It settled on Blaise and a chorus of cries went up with hoots and applause and Pansy shrieking at the top of her lungs with joy.

 

When it was Severus’ turn, he grinned and spun the bottle so hard it nearly spun into Hannah’s lap (which was occupied by Ginny, much to Ron’s distaste).  When as it slowed, it pointed to Blaise, then Pansy, then Draco and stopped on Harry.

 

“Wha?” Was all Harry managed before he got a quicksilver grin and there were a pair of lips on his.  Severus had the sort of rough technique of Millicent, teeth running over the sensitized flesh and tongue plundering with abandon, but his lips were thin and firm where hers were not, and it sent shivers up Harry’s spine.

 

After a minute of this, he suddenly found himself on his back has he was released.  He got a glimpse of glimmering dark eyes and a toothy smirk before Severus practically sauntered back to his spot, looking quiet pleased with himself.

 

Only then did the implications of what just happened sink in, and Harry’s face went even redder than the blush of intoxication.  A groan escaped him and he squirmed until he could hide his face in Draco’s lap.  “I think alcohol dulls your reaction time a bit, love.”  He felt the words more than heard them, and managed to flip Draco the bird before snuggling into the warmth of his lap, ignoring the squirming that caused.

 

Spin the bottle having grown boring, glasses were refilled for a game of I Never.  “I’ve never… kissed a girl.”  Pansy offered with an eyebrow waggle at Millicent.  Hermione frowned and drank, and Luna took a long swig as well, though it was impossible to tell if it was because she qualified or she just wanted to drink more.

 

As it turned out, Ron, Neville and Hannah had never kissed a boy, Seamus and Hannah had both lost their virginities before turning 15 - thought both refused to say with whom - and Dean and Severus had both been in a threesome (which earned them both a brand new esteem, and Harry another moment of discomfort).

 

After nearly twenty minutes of questions, giggling and drinking, Ginny gave a cut of half-giggle half-snort before flopping over sideways into Neville, who was flattened by the sudden weight.  By that point, everyone reasonably sloshed, and so the impromptu party was reluctantly broken up.

 

Ron, Hermione, Neville and Hannah decided to brave the consequences and get Ginny to the Hospital Wing, just in case (as Hermione gravely listed off the symptoms of alcohol poisoning, despite barely being able to stand).  Dean, Seamus and surprisingly Luna stumbled off together, whispering to one another, and Millicent gave them a shockingly stable nod before walking off, and the part of Harry’s brain that was still functioning wondered how much of her actions tonight had been a mask.  He thought the giggling was probably real.  He couldn’t imagine her doing that of her own accord.

 

When Blaise and Pansy snuck off together, limbs already intertwined, it was up to Severus and Draco to get coax Harry towards the Slytherin Common Room.  “Your hair looks really soft today.”  Harry observed, reaching towards his boyfriend’s head.  His hand was rudely slapped away with a glare - no amount of alcohol made Draco’s hair an okay target, apparently.  Harry pouted, but was quickly distracted as Severus and Draco hauled him up and tried to get him walking.

 

“Merlin, you’re heavy.”  Severus grumbled at him.  “Did you get transfigured into stone while we weren’t looking?”

 

Harry shook his head, expression thoughtful.  “Nope.  But I bet I could make a potion that could do that.”

 

“You could not.  Thermodynamical Magicks, Potter.”

 

Giving a snort that was far too superior for someone so sloshed, Harry stuck his nose in the air, nearly sending them all falling forward.  “That doesn’t matter!  I wouldn’t have to make the energy _go away_ , I’d only have to make it _slow_.”

 

“That kind of defeats the point, if they aren’t completely frozen.”

 

“Of course it doesn’t!  Even solid matter has movement - it’s just not a lot.”

 

“But potions are _liquid_ , idiot!  There’s too much energy-”

 

“ _You’re_  the idiot, _Idiot_.  You’d have to create a pathway for the energy to move elsewhere, is all-”

 

“Where, exactly?  And how long would the petrification take, exactly?  Years?”

 

“Would you two _s_ _hut up_!”  Draco finally snapped, glaring at Harry and Severus, who were now in some sort of strange staring match as they argued.  “Merlin, it’s bad enough when you’re sober, but to listen to it when you’re drunk is asking too much.”

 

There was the sound of a clearing throat, and all three heads whipped around to see a very disapproving looking Slughorn looking down his nose at them.  Despite his posture, his eyes were narrowed in thought.  “I have to agree with Mr. Malfoy here.”

 

The three teens wilted and shared startled looks.  “Uh, Professor, funny story-”  Draco started, but a wave of a pudgy hand cut him off.

 

“Oh, don’t bother.  This isn’t the first time I’ve come across a set of drunken students before, and I assure you I have heard every excuse possible.”  His mustache quivered, and his gaze focused in on Severus and Harry.  “Actually, I would be very interested in hearing the rest of that debate.  There are several applications I can thing of for what Mr. Potter is describing…”

 

Draco gave a dramatic groan and flopped sideways against Harry, who just barely managed to stay upright.  “You owe me so much for this.”  He murmured into the dark-haired boy’s neck, and Harry patted him consolingly on the back as he continued his argument with Severus, oblivious to the increasingly startled look on Slughorn’s face.

 

The next morning came like a blow to the head for Harry.  He spent a good two thirds of it either moaning piteously, bent over a toilet, or looking sick.  He only moved to escort Severus to the Hospital Wing, where a Hangover Cure was shoved into his hands with a disapproving look.  Slughorn was flitting about, or rather, waddling about, the room with excitement.  Severus merely sat down on the bed with an outrageous amount of grace that no person who had consumed the amount of alcohol he had the previous night should have been able to manage.

 

Slughorn went on and on about the additives and Harry, for the most part, listened intently, but was sure Slughorn had notes somewhere he could pigeonhole if he felt the need.  Severus was watching the old potion master with sharp, hawk-like eyes and nodding raptly every so often.  When Slughorn was done with his grandiose explanation he handed Severus a mug with a flourish.  Severus eyed the mug for a long moment before he downed it in one long swallow.

 

“That’s it?”  Severus questioned, stretching his arms toward the ceiling, looking up at the as if to see if they would grow.  “Nothing happ—”  Severus’ eyes rolled back in his head and he tumbled sideways onto the bed.  Harry rushed over, concerned.

 

“No worries, my boy, I included a simple sleep agent to keep him under while the potentially painful shifts occurred.” 

 

Madame Pomfrey shooed him away from the bed and with a flick of her wand set up privacy partitions and set Severus’ normal robes over them.  Harry sat down and glared at the translucent, cloudy white sheets with a scowl.  Before long he heard movement and watched a shadow flicker along the white panelling.  The robes were taken down and the uniform was flung over the side carelessly.  Severus strode out, looking as normal as could be, smoothing the last of his buttons down.  He strode off as Poppy flitted after him, flicking spells at him to make sure everything was alright. 

 

Severus paused momentarily in the doorway and caught Harry’s eye with a beckoning look, before he whipped out of the frame.  Harry pushed his glasses up his forehead, rubbed his eyes and groaned.  Standing slowly, with hesitant determination, Harry made his way out of the Hospital Wing and toward Snape’s office. 

 

He had a feeling there was going to be a cup of Chai tea in his future.

 

Instead, what greeted him was a cup of English Breakfast, and Harry almost sobbed with relief.  He sat down automatically in the chair across from Severus in his living quarters and took a long sip.  It seemed like they were both going to do the sensible solution and ignore everything that had happened.  Harry rather liked that plan.

 

“You rather maturely handled that situation, and I do think that potion shall be shelved.”

 

Or not.

 

“I don’t plan on brewing it again, I can tell you that much.”

 

Silence passed as they slowly drained their cups, which refilled themselves silently.  Harry was trying to look everywhere but at Severus.  It was not a successful plan, considering he knew he was being stared at.  Finally he looked at Severus and heaved out a sigh.

 

“Well, for my first potion it wasn’t that bad…”

 

 

“Perhaps I should modify it to work without the pensieve oil.”

 

 

“Or maybe formulate a more stable reaction.”

 

 _Stare_.

 

“David Bowie, really?”

 

Severus made a wounded noise, sounding strangely like he’d been punched and glowered at Harry in such a manner that Harry was sure if he was not used to it by now he’d have cringed.  Instead he simply blinked, titled his head and smiled. 

 

“I would have pegged you more for a Marlon Brando kind of guy.”

 

“My adolescent infatuations have no sway on the current conversation therefore I would kindly ask you to stop.”

 

“Can’t do that, sorry.  Have leverage.”

 

“ _Excuse me_?”

 

“Well, Severus, I don’t think you’re in any place to be ordering me around considering for the last two weeks you slept two beds over from me and I’ve seen parts of you I’ve never needed nor wanted to see.  Furthermore I learned far too much personal information from you.  I think Blaise may need therapy and I think perhaps you’re forgetting the fact you _kissed me last night_.”

 

Severus opened his mouth before closing it and then opening it again before taking a long drink of his tea.  Harry relished in the moment of striking Severus Snape speechless.  He licked his lips and took a long drink of his tea as he shifted in place, wondering if perhaps he had gone too far.

 

Severus finally cleared his throat.  “The Hat did well with putting you in Slytherin.”

 

“And this is news to you?”

 

Severus’ mouth formed a thin line and he rather childishly threw a biscuit at Harry.  “Impudent brat.”

 


End file.
